On The Upside of a Downward Spiral

Slowly getting over Sean but I can't help feeling like every step forward is really bringing me two steps back. Last night me and Ashley went to a party with her brother, Richard, and of course, after everything that happened with Ashley and her ex-best friend Valerie (she had been sleeping with Richard for two months before Ashley found out), me and Richard made out while Ashley would've been falling over drunk if it hadn't been for this guy Joe holding her up. Of course I told her about it right away and she's okay with it, but I don't know if I am. Don't get me wrong, there's no doubt I'm attracted to him, but now I can't stop thinking about it. I don't think he even remembers what happened, and that's probably a good thing, but I feel the same way I did after what happened with Kelsey. I can't help wishing I had done more. Unlike what happened with Kyle, where I can't help wishing nothing had happened. Speaking of, things with Kyle are so different now. He probably doesn't want to hang out with me because he's afraid of a repeat but that's the last thing I would let happen. The other thing I'm not sure about is Mike, one of the managers at work. He's totally into me and I'm pretty into him but I don't know if I should get into things with him, he's not only my manager but he's also 26. However, I can't just not get into things, I dug myself pretty deep last night with a few unexpected drunk texts. I have to be at work in 2 hours and I'm so nervous! I'm supposed to kiss him today but I don't know if I can. I guess we'll see what happens!