Since You've Been Gone

Hey Sam,
I just wanted to let you know that I miss you bro. I've been thinking about you so much lately. Especially that night at the hospital. I don't know why but I just can't seem to get it out of my head lately. I don't think I've ever felt so empty and alone in my life. At first I couldn't even look at you, I just couldn't bear to see you that way. I had to sit outside cause the cold air on my skin was the only thing that helped keep me in reality. Seeing Dad was probably the worst thing. I was outside alone when they showed up, and that meant I had to tell them. It was horrible Sam. I'm glad you never had to see him like that.Having him crying on my shoulder was by far the worst moment of my life. I can't even begin to tell you what it felt like. You're friends were really good to me though, really comforting. I just miss you so much. I think about you every day. I can't believe it's almost been a year since you've been gone. Well anyway, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you, and I hope that where ever you are, you know how much I love you.

Commitment Issues?

I've come to the conclusion that commitment is simply not my thing. And I don't just mean with relationships, it's with everything. I can't keep friends, boyfriends, jobs, college/career plans, anything. I just can't seem to do it. Like, I'll make a new friend, and we'll be really good friends for a period of time, maybe even best friends. But sooner or later, it ends. I just walk out of their life. And it's the same way with boyfriends. And with jobs, I'll work somewhere for a little while and it'll be really good and then eventually it'll end. I'll make a future career plan, decide what I want to do. I'll stick with it for a little while, and then I'll abandon the idea and find something new. And I do the same thing with colleges. I always have to change things. Change the layout of my bedroom or the decorations on the walls. Change my hair, either cut or color. And now it's tattoos and piercings. I don't know why, but I can't help it. I can't even have a favorite thing for very long. Food, color, movie, band, genre of music, whatever. That's just how it is.